After a great week one, where I guessed right about half the time, I had a dreadful week two. I was wrong about the Baltimore Ravens, the Washington Redskins, the Houston Texans, the Philadelphia Eagles, the Pittsburgh Steelers, the New York Jets,  the Minnesota Vikings, the New England Patriots, the Oakland Raiders, and the New York Giants. 6-10 is not a great way to follow up 8-8, and now I’m 14-18

NFL Picks. Week Three, 2018

The New York Jets vs. The Cleveland Browns

I can not believe I’m doing this, but I’m picking the Cleveland Browns. I am picking Tyrod Taylor‘s Buffalo Bills to win a football game… kinda. It’s more that I’m taking Myles Garrett, Denzel Ward, and the Browns defense over Sam Darnold‘s New York Jets, on the road, in a short week. I have a theory that the home team has a distinct advantage on Thursday Night Football, and I’m hoping it’s enough for the Browns to win.

Also, if you’re going to pay someone to miss field goals, email me?

Winner- The Cleveland Browns

The Buffalo Bills vs. The Minnesota Vikings

Knock knock. Who’s there? The Bills. The Bills who? The Bills aren’t going to win a game this year. Sorry Josh Allen, I feel really bad for you brother, but this just isn’t your year, especially not against Harrison Smith and company.

Winner- The Minnesota Vikings.

The New York Giants vs. The Houston Texans

This is going to be the coming out party for the Houston Texans pass rush. J.J. Watt, Jadeveon Clowney, and the rest of Houston’s defense face off against Ereck Flowers and an offensive line that couldn’t stop a runny nose. Eli Manning is in big trouble, and I feel bad for the likes of Odell Beckham Jr, Saquon Barkley, and Evan Engram. Just not enough time.

Winner- The Houston Texans

The Green Bay Packers vs. The Washington Redskins

There’s an itch that I just can’t scratch that really wanted to pick Alex Smith and the redskins. Something about a banged up Aaron Rodgers on the road just makes me uneasy. However, I’m trusting my head over my heart, and I’m riding with the green and gold.

Winner- The Green Bay Packers

The San Francisco 49ers vs. The Kansas City Chiefs

Oh man, the Patrick Mahomes reign of terror continues. The man who currently leads the NFL in passing touchdowns is going to lead the Chiefs to 3-0 in Arrowhead against a 49ers team I just don’t trust. Though, Jimmy Garoppolo, if you wanted to prove me wrong… I wouldn’t complain.

Winner- The Kansas City Chiefs.

The Oakland Raiders vs. The Miami Dolphins

Okay Raiders, you’ve played exactly one brilliant game of football so far this season, and one that was absolutely terrible. I’m speaking, of course, of your hideous second half meltdowns. I’m going to go ahead and make the excuse for you that you’re going to the east coast, you’re going to be wearing black, and you’re playing in that hideous humidity.

There. Now you have excuses as to why you can lose to Ryan Tannehill. How about you don’t, thanks.

Winner- The Oakland Raiders

The Indianapolis Colts vs. The Philadelphia Eagles

I was really tempted to pick the Colts here! Andrew Luck has been on his A game, and this is Carson Wentz‘ first game since tearing his ACL late last year. And you want to be able to lean on that Philadelphia defense, but they were just eviscerated by Ryan Fitzpatrick and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I’m not sold on this pick, but again, head over heart.

Winner- The Philadelphia Eagles

The Tennessee Titans vs. The Jacksonville Jaguars

The Jacksonville Jaguars are the anti-Bills. Don’t expect me to pick against Jalen Ramsey‘s boys any time soon. The Titans were able to get a win last week, but one of their scores came on a fake punt. I have a hard time imagining that the Jaguars follow up a win over the Patriots with a loss to Tennessee.

Winner- The Jacksonville Jaguars

The Cincinnati Bengals vs. The Carolina Panthers

I really don’t know about this one. I’m taking the Carolina Panthers because they’re at home and Joe Mixon is hurt, but it’s a very uneasy pick. Cam Newton and Christian McCaffrey haven’t really gotten on track yet this year, so I’m hoping that Luke Kuechly does enough to stop Andy Dalton.

Winner- The Carolina Panthers

The Denver Broncos vs. The Baltimore Ravens

I don’t trust either of these teams. I don’t think Denver is as good as their 2-0 start dictates, and I really don’t trust the Baltimore Ravens after losing to the Bengals on Thursday night.

Having said that, the Bengals were able to shut down the run and harass Joe Flacco last week, and they won because of it. It’s true that Derek Carr came to town and shredded the Broncos defense, but surprise, surprise, Joe Flacco isn’t Derek Carr.

Winner- The Denver Broncos

The New Orleans Saints vs. The Atlanta Falcons

I’m only taking the Atlanta Falcons here because I just don’t trust that New Orleans defense yet. They’ve struggled with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Cleveland Browns at points. I’m not about that. Plus, the game is in Atlanta. It’ll be fun to see Julio Jones and Michael Thomas play, even if, obviously, it isn’t head to head.

Winner- The Atlanta Falcons

The Los Angeles Chargers vs. The Los Angeles Rams

Is this PWG, because we’re gearing up for the Battle of Los Angeles! Some of you will get that, and I appreciate you greatly.

In all seriousness, this is an easy one. The Rams are the best team in football, and they haven’t even looked mortal yet this year. The Rams win big, likely with Philip Rivers turning the ball over several times.

Winner- The Los Angeles Rams

The Chicago Bears vs. The Arizona Cardinals

The Arizona Cardinals are the Buffalo Bills of the NFC. After an ugly loss to the Washington Redskins, they were steamrolled by the Los Angeles Rams, and honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if Khalil Mack‘s involvement eventually means the debut of Josh Rosen.

Winner- The Chicago Bears

The Dallas Cowboys vs. The Seattle Seahawks

I just can’t trust this Seattle Seahawks team until they do something about that offensive line. They can’t seem to protect Russell Wilson, and it doesn’t matter how well their defense has been playing, you need to be able to sustain drives. Back home, in front of the 12th man, it’ll be a little easier, but I just feel like the Cowboys will bury the Seahawks with a heavy dose of Ezekiel Elliott.

Winner- The Dallas Cowboys

The New England Patriots vs. The Detriot Lions

Interestingly enough, former Patriot assistant coaches historically have some success against Tom Brady and the New England Patriots. Josh McDaniels beat the Patriots with Denver (how’d that work out for you, Josh?), and Eric Mangini’s New York Jets got a win in New England back in 2006. So there’s something to be said about the Lions coming into a game against the kings of the AFC North and getting a win.

I mean, it won’t happen, and I haven’t seen anything that says Matt Patricia is actually a good head coach, but there’s still something that could be said, if you didn’t know better.

Now for the real question, why does Patricia keep a pencil over his ear if his playsheet is laminated! I must know!

Winner- The New England Patriots

The Pittsburgh Steelers vs. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Eventually, some semblance of normalcy has to return, right? The Pittsburgh Steelers are going to become the team that had the AFC North won before the season started and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are going to implode. It has to be.

But for now? I’m just seeing a Pittsburgh defense that has given up 63 points and 776 yards through two games. I’m hoping I’m wrong, just so that I can restore my sanity, but I’ve gotta go with momentum.

Winner- The Tampa Bay Buccaneers