See, that’s more like it. Back on the right side of .500. Let’s go!
Overall Record: 67-38
Ryan’s NFL Picks (2020): Week Eight
Atlanta Falcons @ Carolina Panthers: Carolina Panthers
For the life of me, I can not figure out the Atlanta Falcons. And the fact that they’re consistently blowing huge leads isn’t helping. They are capable of beating any team on any given Sunday, but they’re not getting it done. No lead is safe for the Atlanta Falcons.
As a result, I’m taking the Carolina Panthers, who, at the very least, seem capable of finishing games off.
Pittsburgh Steelers @ Baltimore Ravens: Pittsburgh Steelers
This is my spicy pick of the week! I think the Pittsburgh Steelers are going to bring the Baltimore Ravens back down to earth. Lamar has been good-not-great so far this year, and he’ll have to play his best football to win this game. Otherwise Pittsburgh’s violent pass rush is going to negate the run game and force Lamar to beat them as a passer.
Los Angeles Rams @ Miami Dolphins: Los Angeles Rams
New York Jets @ Kansas City Chiefs: Hahahahahaha
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa haaa ha ha. Oh man. That’s great.
Get outta here, man. #FireAdamGase
Minnesota Vikings @ Green Bay Packers: Green Bay Packers
The Vikings have started the firesale in Minnesota. They are jettisoning stars to build towards a brighter 2021, and as a result, my preseason prediction of them winning the division is officially dead.
Meanwhile the Packers are mauling [bad] teams left and right, and will probably end up taking the north. I can’t see Rodgers struggling, especially at home. Packers win by 17.
Indianapolis Colts @ Detroit Lions: Detroit Lions
I just have a weird feeling about this game. The Colts are a bit goofy and don’t really show up when they’re supposed to. This is purely a gut pick. I still think Matt Patricia should lose his job, but I was never high on Frank Reich as it is.
Las Vegas Raiders @ Cleveland Browns: Las Vegas Raiders
The Raiders are going to win ten games this year, and that has to start with the banged up Cleveland Browns. There’s absolutely no reason why the Raiders shouldn’t be able to beat the Browns with as many pieces as they’re missing.
Tennessee Titans @ Cincinnati Bengals: Tennessee Titans
The Bengals are a child’s birthday balloon, floating aimlessly on the breath of Joe Burrow’s excellence alone. Without him, I don’t think they would have won a single game this year. However, they have as many wins as the Titans have losses this year, and the season is almost halfway over. Titans have to roll here.
New England Patriots @ Buffalo Bills: New England Patriots
This is a really stupid pick, isn’t it? The Patriots just crapped the bed against the 49ers, and the Bills are probably taking the AFC East. I don’t know, call it a gut feeling, call it “Bill rarely loses consecutive games,” call it whatever you want, I’m calling it a Patriots win.
Los Angeles Chargers @ Denver Broncos: Los Angeles Chargers
I’ve never enjoyed the mediocrity of a player more than I’ve enjoyed Drew “Better than Derek Carr” Lock’s suffering in 2020. The Chargers are a much, much better team than their record indicates, as is the case every year, and I think they light up the Broncos at Mile High.
San Francisco 49ers @ Seattle Seahawks: Seattle Seahawks
Is it weird that I feel better about Seattle’s chances because they lost? They’d gotten so accustomed to winning those nail-biters that I think they needed a bit of a shock. They’ll be more focused hosting a bitter rival this week, and unlike the Patriots, Seattle’s offense won’t throw the game away.
What a weird sentence.
New Orleans Saints @ Chicago Bears: Chicago Bears
It’s gonna be a gross, cold afternoon in Chicago, and I bet that throws Drew Brees off his game. The Saints haven’t really impressed anyone this year, and say what you will about the Bears offense, the defense has been lights out. I think Chicago terrorizes Brees and “Da Bears” eat a dub.
Dallas Cowboys @ Philadelphia Eagles: Philadelphia Eagles
I guess, man.
I don’t trust any team in this division, but at least the Eagles have won multiple games and didn’t get eviscerated by the Washington Football Team. I don’t think Mike McCarthy makes it to the end of the season, and IMO, Doug Pederson shouldn’t either.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ New York Giants: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Nobody’s ever come away from a huge play looking worse than Daniel Jones. We should be talking about how impressive it was that he pulled off a modern Steve Bono, but instead, his failure to complete the run is a meme.
The Buccaneers are going to shut the Giants out. Read it here first.